You’re probably right if you’ve ever believed that you and your lover don’t have the same views regarding how to give and receive love. There are five different love languages, and Dr. Gary Chapman claims that the likelihood of meeting someone who speaks your language is one in five. Despite the high likelihood, it is still possible that you will fall in love with someone who does not speak the same language as you, and that is completely acceptable. For a relationship to be successful, you don’t necessarily need to use the same love language.

According to professional matchmaker and dating coach Lori Salkin, “I think the relationship theory of love languages is very relevant to finding your perfect match, but not in the way that most people assume.” People need to comprehend the love language that their significant other uses rather than speaking the same love language in order for a relationship to work. This is difficult because it calls for not only an understanding of the other person and how they differ from you but also the ability to distinguish between your own needs and wants and those of the other person so that you can give them what they want while simultaneously acting solely in the interests of the other. If you happen to have the same love language, it makes things a lot simpler.

But before you can identify both your own and your partner’s love languages, it’s generally best to first discuss what they are. The five love languages are listed below.

1. Words Of Affirmation

According to Chapman, those whose “words of affirmation” love language is verbal affirmation use words to express their love to others. People that speak this language are all about words and using them, whether it be complimented, verbal support, or just being really outspoken about their love and gratitude. Every day of the week would have its own song that they would sing to you if they could.

2. Acts Of Service

Action speaks louder than words and has a considerably greater impact on the number of people for whom “acts of service” are their preferred form of expression. These people will go above and above to express their love by doing things they know their partner will interpret as love, even though they are much less likely to provide a compliment or say anything else verbally.

3. Receiving Gifts

Despite the widespread belief that money cannot buy love (oh, really?! ), those whose preferred method of communication is “receiving gifts” may differ slightly. These are the people who, after receiving a present, feel most appreciated. But this also means that they’re more likely to express their affection by giving goods because receiving gifts has become synonymous with love in their minds. Therefore, it seems like everyone will benefit from this one.

4. Quality Time

For those whose preferred method of communication is “quality time,” it’s all about commitment and concentration on the one they cherish. Not only should you talk to the person you love, but you should also turn off the TV, put the phone on mute, and lock the door so they never even have the tiniest doubt about how much you care for them. These people are also aware that spending “quality time” together doesn’t necessarily entail watching Stranger Things together on the couch.

5. Physical Touch

The “physical touch” love language, as its name suggests, refers to the desire for physical contact in order to feel loved. This includes being stroked, caressed, kissed, hugged, cuddled, and the like. Without it, some people struggle to recognize that they are loved because they genuinely desire physical affection. If your partner speaks the language of “physical touch,” but you’re not a natural cuddler, you may need to improve your game.

Salkin is quick to point out, however, that while the love languages may appear to be somewhat gender specific in terms of how we tend to stereotype them — “receiving gifts” being something women prefer, whereas “acts of service” are something men prefer — that’s simply not true for Millennials. Salkin notes that there are female CEOs and presidential candidates. We have males who enjoy spending time with kids, teach first grade, and are leaning toward staying at home. Finding someone who speaks your similar love language is not as crucial as finding someone whose love language you are aware of, since this will allow you to affirm them in the way that is most valuable to them.

Takeaway? Relationships are not made or broken by the love languages that two people speak, but having that knowledge in the back of your mind will make things easier for you both.