A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced ten husbands.

On their wedding night, she told her new husband,
“Please be gentle, I’m still a virgin.”

“What?” said the puzzled groom.

“How can that be if you’ve been married ten times?”

“Well, Husband #1 was a sales representative, he
kept telling me how great it was going to be.

Husband #2 was in software services, he was never
really sure how it was supposed to function, but he
said he’d look into it and get back to me.

Husband #3 was from field services, he said
everything checked out diagnostically but he just couldn’t get the
system up.

Husband #4 was in telemarketing, even though he knew he had
the order, he didn’t know when he would be able to deliver.

Husband #5 was an engineer, he understood the basic process
but wanted three years to research, implement, and design a new
state-of-the-art method.

Husband #6 was from finance and administration, he thought he
knew how, but he wasn’t sure whether it was his job or not.

Husband #7 was in marketing, although he had a nice product, he
was never sure how to position it.

Husband #8 was a psychologist, all he ever did was talk about it.

Husband #9 was a gynecologist, all he did was look at it.

Husband #10 was a stamp collector, all he ever did was, God!

I miss him! But now that I’ve married you, I’m really excited!”

“Good,” said the new husband, “but, why?”

“You’re a lawyer. This time I know I’m gonna get screwed!”