Dr. John Gottman, a psychologist, refers to these elements as the “Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse.”

According to estimates, 2.5 out of every 1,000 Americans divorce each year. Psychologists have been able to identify a number of behaviors that seem to have a direct correlation to a couple’s divorce, despite the fact that the causes of any relationship collapse are complicated and linked to a variety of larger variables.

Dr. John Gottman, a professor emeritus of psychology at the University of Washington whose decades of research have sharply focused on divorce prediction and marital stability, is one of the foremost authorities on the subject.

He identified four of the most problematic communication patterns that can indicate whether married couples will divorce in his 1993 book What Predicts Divorce?

• Contempt: Not taking the concerns of the partner seriously, often expressed through gestures like name-calling, sarcasm, hostile humor, eye-rolling, ridiculing, etc.
• Criticism: persistent attacks on a partner’s character, beliefs, personality, appearance, or actions.
• Defensiveness: Denying responsibility when approached with criticism or advice.
• Stonewalling: Disengaging from communication by ignoring or acting busy.

These elements are what Gottman refers to as the “Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse.”

Gottman asserts that it is possible to predict which couples would divorce and which will remain together with a 90% accuracy rate based on seven research involving hundreds of couples. He contends that these four elements, in addition to personality types, are crucial to marriage success.

“Couples who had the Four Horsemen divorced an average of 5.6 years after the wedding, while emotionally disengaged couples divorced an average of 16.2 years after the wedding,” according to Gottman’s website.

His research indicates that contempt is the most important aspect because it is the best indicator of a marriage’s likelihood to terminate in divorce. He has, fortunately, discovered several potential treatments for this marital poison.

People expressing their own needs and sentiments regarding any particular subject can help you feel less contemptible in the short run. The use of “you” phrases should be avoided because they might make partners feel insulted or guilty.

It’s critical to create a climate of affection and respect for one another over the long run.

But it’s important to keep in mind that a variety of cultural, economic, and legal issues are also predictive of divorce in addition to psychological ones. The divorce rate in the US has fluctuated greatly during the 19th century, reaching highs and lows that were closely related to broader socioeconomic trends. The biggest shift in divorce rates happened in the 1970s, when several states made it simpler to legally dissolve a marriage.